6 Things People with Depression Wish You Knew | Mental Health

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1. WE GET LONELY. A LOT.
In a room full of crowded people. Late at night. During the working day. Sometimes, it just hits us, for no reason at all...but that doesn't mean we don't appreciate you checking up on us, spending time with us, and just generally being around. 

2. WE BLAME OURSELVES. FOR EVERYTHING.
If someone doesn't respond to our message in the group chat? We said something stupid. If we don't get included in plans with friends? No one wants us around. That time our drink got spiked and we threw up in the back of a cab? How could we possibly be so stupid?
No, it doesn't make sense, and yes, basic logic would deduce a million reasons why we weren't to blame, but we'll still find a way. We're not looking for attention, we're genuinely worried we've done something wrong. 

3. WE'LL PROBABLY BE A PAIN TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH.
Sometimes, we just need to not talk to anyone, to have a little time alone. No, it's not always healthy to isolate ourselves, but sometimes it's the only way to cope. The best invitation in the world, be it our best friend's birthday, an interview, or the wedding of the century, probably won't pull us out of our cocoon. It's nothing personal, and it doesn't mean we don't care about you. Honestly.

4. WE NEED REASSURANCE. A LOT.
'Are you sure it's okay?', 'how about this bit?', 'really?': we're not fishing for compliments, but if we did well, we really need to know. And we probably need to check, at least 5 times. Whether you're a colleague, a friend, our SO, whether you have to explain a thousand times that we haven't screwed up, why you love us, or why you keep us around...just be patient. 

5. SOMETIMES, WE SNAP. IT'S NOT PRETTY.
Depression can do weird things to our perception. We'll bottle things that bother us up for months - things that we maybe know are irrational - and eventually, it gets too much, and we explode. That comment you made 6 weeks ago, that thing you didn't invite us to, last month? It all bubbles to the surface, and our hurt feelings all come out, at once. It's not because we've been building a case against you, or harbouring resentment, we just try to tell ourselves it's all in our head, sometimes, and it doesn't always work. We know it's wrong, but it's just how we cope.

6. WE CAN'T 'SNAP OUT OF IT'.
We wish we could. We know it hurts you, too. We know we don't always handle things well, and that we don't have the healthiest of coping mechanisms. If we could just 'get over it', we would. 
Do you have depression, or know someone who does? What do you wish you could tell people about it?
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5 comments

  1. This was a very insightful post, although I've never been diagnosed with depression I can relate to a couple of the above points. I always feel the need to be reassured that I haven't bothered someone or that they are okay with me, I think I let the feeling of insecurity take over too much sometimes.

    Toni x
    www.clarkecouture.co.uk

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  2. I've been in recovery for two years and I don't think the traits of someone with clinical depression will ever fully pass, so this post really resonated with me. Especially feeling lonely in a room full of people; more specifically a room full of family and friends. The insecurity will never leave me, point number 4 is my life all day everyday. Great post :) x

    www.floral-etiquette.com

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